Cheaters, Why do I despise Cheaters

 My first true experience with a cheater was with Brian's real father.  When I found out he was cheater and called off the relationship because I don't play those games even in my late teens/early 20s.  Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.  He never admitted or acknowledge Brian has his son for  2 years and still never admitted it to me.  He only admitted to having two other sons in open court due to Brian's half-brother's (2 months younger than Brian) mother took him to court for child support.  Brian has at least 2 brothers one of which he knews about and spend the first 3 years of their lives knowing each other.  He always as at least 2 sisters out there of which one is 4 months younger than him.  Yep, you read correctly, Brian has a brother 2 months younger then him, supposedly a second brother 3 months younger and a sister 4 month younger than him.  All because of a cheater.  So yes, I despise cheaters.  Brian has missed out knowing several branches of his family.  Due mainly to his father's cheating ways.  

My second experience is from the second husband.  He cheated with who I thought was my best friend in my house, my bed, across the hall from our daughter's room where she was bravely fighting a losing battle with Spinal Muscular Atrophy.  Again, a cheater destroys my life as I know it for their "well-being" and "peace of mind".

So if you are a cheater and you think you will get sympathy from me you have another thing coming to you.  I will tolerate you.  I will talk civil to you but I will not agree, condone, nor make statements to justify your cheating.  If you aren't happy in your relationship, be it a BF/GF, BF/BF, GF/GF, married or not just end it.  Take the so called high road end it before the cheating begins.  If a relationship/marriage fails, it fails, you don't need to make yourself look even worse by screwing around while still in the relationship/marriage.  

Cheaters are not worth my time and energy.  

Life After Divorce

 I have been here twice now and each time was different.  Each person, each divorce is different.  How you process it depends on the situation that lead up to the divorce.  My first marriage ended in divorce due to the prejudices from his family that eventually manifested itself in our marriage.  When my son was not invited to family holidays dinners, it became clear he wasn't accepted due to his skin color not to mention the family didn't like my upbringing in the hills of West Virginia.  It didn't take me long to adjust to single life and move on from it.  The second divorce was different.  The dealing with a dying child is partially the cause of the divorce along with the cheating and betraying husband and best friend.  People want to say the death of our daughter is the cause but when their love child was born November of the year she died.  When you do the math, he was concieved February timeframe and she passed away on March 15.  So you tell me how it was her death that resulted in the cheating and betrayal?  Yeah, nope sorry your cheating and betrayal is what lead to the divorce you just used your daugther's death to justify it to others.  

According to the Cleveland Clinic there are nine strategies to help you move through divorce to a healthy new life.

(1) Let yourself feel

(2) Talk it out

(3) Embrace coping skills

(4) Work together to focus on children (could be hard for some depending on the situation)

(5) Watch out for stumbling blocks

(6) Avoid hanging on in desperation (reason many failed marriages dragged out so long before divorce)

(7) Don't rush into a new relationship

(8) Use self-help and other resources

(9) Stay hopeful

What's life life after divorce?

This to me depends on you.

When to seek help after a divorce?

Please if you feel overwhelmed seek help whether it be a professional therapist or clergy or even a support group.  Don't try to deal with in on your own.

Here is the link to the Cleveland Clinic article.

Life After Divorce

If You Could Talk To Anyone, Who Would It Be?

Not too long ago I saw one of this Facebook question: If you could talk to anyone again, who would it be? I answered my daughter. Now, that I have had sometime to actually think about the question. I, honestly, wouldn't know what to talk about. How would one talk to a person who was only 11 1/2 months old when they earned their angel wings? This March will be 19 years since she earned her wings. 19 years of missed birthdays, milestones, developing her personality, decides her likes and dislikes, what would her educational goals be, so many unanswered questions that only those precious 19 years would have answered. So I ponder what would I talk about with a girl I only remember as a bubbly, happy, baby girl?